


night so long

by downtothewire



Category: Marvel, Runaways (Comics), Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downtothewire/pseuds/downtothewire
Summary: Karolina meets Gert's roommate, Nico, at a party. She recently transferred to college in New York and could really use new friends. She wants Nico to be more, but if Nico only wants to be her friend, Karolina can take that too. Except, that's not all Nico wants.Or a college AU where Nico and Karolina spend several nights hanging out and both want more but are too useless.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Karolina meet at Gert's birthday party for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new thing for me, because it's going to be much longer than my usual fanfictions. I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Song title is from the song Night So Long by HAIM.

"I'm Karolina, by the way. It's nice to meet you," Karolina tells the shorter raven-haired girl in front of her.

"I know, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Nico," Nico responds. A regular enough response that Karolina shouldn't feel a sense of pride that Nico knows who she is, but she does.

She had arrived early at the restaurant to get a couple of drinks in before the rest of the party arrived. She has just moved to New York and today she is at a birthday brunch for her good friend from back home, Gert. Karolina stayed in California when her two best friends moved to New York for college. She had planned to study marine biology, but soon found out, however, she'd rather major in journalism and moved to New York for her junior year.

September, her first month there, had been hectic and she didn't get to see Gert and Chase. With moving in and orientation, she barely had time to sleep - let alone have a social life. So, right now Karolina is excited, but she can feel the nervous energy bubbling up. This is nothing a few drinks can't fix, so, that's exactly what she is doing and why she arrived early.

Gert and Chase arrive when Karolina is almost done with her first drink. Next to them is Gert's roommate, Nico. Relieved to see anyone she knows, she rushes forward to say hi. She offers both her friends a long hug. Out of instinct, she leans and hugs Nico too. Nico stiffens a bit at the warm welcome from a stranger, but offers a loose hug back.

"Sorry, I like to hug," The chipper and barely tipsy Karolina tells her.

"It's okay," the girl responds.

"I'm Karolina, by the way. It's nice to meet you," Karolina tells her.

"I know, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Nico," Nico answers.

"I know. I've heard a lot about you too."

All of them take their seats at a table for six people after two boys named Victor and Alex arrive. Karolina meets both and doesn't fail to notice how Nico seems a bit tense to greet the latter. They take their seats and Karolina ends up sitting between Nico and Alex across from Gert. As soon as the waitress comes by to take their orders, Karolina doesn't hesitate to order another gin and tonic. Nico promptly turns to her with her eyebrows raised.

"What?" Karolina asks, suddenly self-conscious.

"You sure you want to start out that strong? This place turns into quite a party, and they're not really known here for shying away from really adding alcohol to their drinks," Nico says.

Never one to back away from a challenge, Karolina waves her off, "I'll be fine. I'm quite good when it comes to alcohol."

"If you say so," Nico mutters, still skeptical.

Soon, Karolina finds out that Nico was right. The place had turned into quite a party. The tables that filled the restaurant had soon been pushed to the side to make room for a makeshift dance floor in the middle. A DJ played a mixture of pop and hip hop from different decades. Alex and Victor were in the midst of it all flirting with two sisters, while Gert and Chase were well past that already making out.

Karolina also finds out that the thing that Nico was most right about was her starting out too strong. Karolina is swaying at the edge of the dance floor willing her head to stop spinning when she comes to the conclusion she just needs some fresh air. She grabs her jacket and walks outside of the restaurant looking for somewhere to lean on. She settles on a light post. The crisp fall air is making her sober up quickly when she hears her name being called behind her.

"Karolina!"

Karolina turns to see Nico calling her and waving her over. Nico is sitting on a stoop next door to the restaurant. How do the people who live above this restaurant sleep? Karolina still has a lot to learn about this city. In her hand, Nico has what innocently Karolina assumes is a hand rolled cigarette. She walks over and takes a seat next to her.

"Feeling okay?" Nico asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. A bit drunk," Karolina continues, "Thanks for not saying I told you so."

"I was planning on it, you just didn't give me time," Nico teases.

Karolina pouts, which in turn becomes a smile on Nico's face.

"I'm kidding. We all have our nights, don't worry about it."

"You're not drinking?"

"Don't really drink a lot in general. This is more my drug of choice," Nico says then offers her joint, "Want a hit?"

"Oh! I don't really smoke," Karolina says in a bit of a panic.

"Good for you," Nico responds with a lopsided smirk on her face.

"I mean, it's really cool that you roll your own, though. I heard it's way better for you," Karolina rambles.

"I don't know how much healthier it is, but it sure beats the amount of tobacco they put in the pre-rolled stuff," Nico nonchalantly responds.

It takes Karolina a moment before she catches on. "Oh! You mean it's-- um… Not that I mind, but it's..."

"It's weed if that's what you're trying to say."

"Cool, cool, cool. And you smoke it out here? Is that okay here?"

"If police come by, I'll take the fall."

Karolina feels an immediate sense of relief, "Thank God."

Nico watches the girl with amusement, "You're scared of prison, I take it."

"Of course I am! I've seen Orange is the New Black!"

"Prison doesn't seem that bad on that show."

Karolina gapes at her.

"You really can't understand sarcasm, can you?"

"Not drunk, no." Karolina responds slightly embarrassed.

"Okay, I'll try it again another time when you're sober then."

Karolina rejoices at the prospect of 'again', completely forgetting her embarrassment.

"I'm not trying to end up in prison, I promise. If I see anyone coming I'll just hide it," Nico concedes.

"Okay..." Karolina mutters unconvinced.

"Don't worry about me," Nico continues and bumps their knees against each other, "Plus, I don't usually do this on the street. I just kind of need it right now. It's helping me relax."

"Why do you need to relax?" Nico seems to tense at the question, so, Karolina corrects herself, "Sorry! I don't mean to pry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Nico waves her off, "No, no. It's okay," Nico exhales before continuing, "Um, you met Alex right?"

"Yeah."

"We used to date."

"Oh..." Karolina feels a pang of disappointment, "Bad break up?"

"Not even. I'm okay, really. Over him, but still doesn't feel nice to see him flirting with other girls."

"What an..." Karolina hesitates before she mutters, "asshole."

Nico laughs out loud. Karolina thinks she looks really pretty when she does.

"Something tells me you don't swear often."

Karolina blushes.

Nico shrugs before saying, "I think it's cute." Her blush intensifies.

"He's not an asshole, by the way. Nothing I haven't done before. Nice guy. It just didn't work out, really."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Karolina says sympathetically.

"It's okay. You know what they say: Guys, can't live with them, can't live without them."

"Can't relate."

"What?"

"Oh, I'm gay."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"I think I'd be fine without them too, actually."

"You're gay? But you just said--"

"Something of the sort, I'm bi."

Nico's closer to her now.

"Oh..." is all Karolina can manage to muster right now.

Karolina feels Nico's body language change. She turns towards Karolina and shifts even closer to her. Karolina can feel Nico's eyes on her lips. Her body heats up, but it just as quickly becomes frigid as Chase stumbles out of the restaurant and interrupts their moment. Karolina jumps away from Nico. She doesn't see it, but as she's staring directly at Chase with guilty eyes, Nico looks disappointed as she scoots slowly away from Karolina.

"There you guys are! Gert sent me here to make sure you were alive," He says, "Aren't you guys coming in?"

"Yeah, I just needed a hit, and Karolina, here, needed to sober up," Nico offers, because Karolina can't speak.

"Sober now?" Chase asks her.

Karolina nods.

"Then come on! Let's keep the party going!" He practically screams and runs back inside the restaurant.

Nico stands up before turning to Karolina, "You coming?" Karolina stands and follows her inside.

She spends the rest of the evening dancing with her new friends. She likes all of them - even Alex. Nico was right once more: he is a nice guy. Casually through the night, she sneaks glances at Nico. Having a hard time keeping herself together as she watches Nico dance. Every time Nico catches her, she smiles shyly at Karolina. Both of them blush. Karolina because she got caught, Nico because a pretty girl is watching her dance.

By the end of the night, everyone is drunk and getting into the subway. Nico and Karolina split up as they're going in different directions.

"It was nice meeting you," Karolina tells her.

Nico is the one to initiate the hug this time much to Karolina's joy. They pull apart, and Karolina has a dopey grin across her entire face and she's halfway planning their marriage already, when Nico speaks, "Always nice to make a new friend."

Karolina's stomach drops as Nico uses the term friend. She tries to keep her grin, but it quickly dissolves into a grimace as they part ways. On the way home, Karolina ponders on her disappointment, but ultimately comes to the conclusion that she's new to the city and could definitely use a friend like Nico. She'll take what she can get from her and be okay with it, she guesses.

What Karolina doesn't know, however, is that on Nico's way home she thinks about how Karolina jumped away from her when Chase showed up. Nico decides she could always use new friends - specially ones as nice as Karolina.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karolina and Nico casually bump into each other at a party they both hate.

There's a reason Nico doesn't drink and that's because she makes bad choices when she's drunk - she kisses people she shouldn't mostly. So, when she decided to come to this halloween party with her old friends from freshman year that were currently getting wasted, not only on alcohol, Nico already knew she wasn't going to have a good time.

Nico had decided to dress as a witch solely because that meant she barely had to dress up at all. It was just easy. The irony of it being that right now Nico would give anything to actually have magic and be able to teleport herself away from this situation. She was in some warehouse in Brooklyn where people on molly seemed to be jumping and sweating on her as some lyric-less music played around her. This was not a situation where Nico wanted to be in drunk, let alone sober. It all became too much when one of them asked for her credit card and did cocaine off it. So, she excused herself from her friends. She was sure they would ask her tomorrow where she went even though she had just told them.

Funneling her way through a crowd, Nico finally finds an open spot where she's able to take a breath. Steps away from the exit, Nico can feel the relief flood her body, only to tense up again when she hears her name being called behind her. Someone found her and she would have to stay in this hell hole longer, she can't believe it. When she turns, however, her eyes are met with Karolina dressed as Madonna in the 'Like a Virgin' video. Fuck, she looked good and that leaves Nico momentarily speechless. This is her first time seeing Karolina since the night of Gert's birthday two weeks ago.

"That costume is… intense," she settles on.

Karolina looks down at herself confused at the comment.

"I meant that as a good thing," Nico tries to salvage.

"Oh, thanks, I guess?"

Nico starts to fidget with her own hands in order to give herself a much needed distraction. "Are you here alone?" She finally manages to ask.

"No, I came with a group of people I barely know from school. Thought I'd try and make some friends, but I kind of ditched them."

"Why's that?"

"I kind of hate this place."

"Me too. Honestly it became too much for me when someone did cocaine off my credit card." Nico is elated to find that she's not the only one currently suffering at having to be at this excuse for a fun time.

"That's... interesting," Karolina tries.

"That's one way to see it. I'd call it more tragic. They couldn't even do it off their own, because they lost that earlier in the night," Nico explains making Karolina laugh.

"If all parties in New York are like this, I finally understand why people do so many drugs in this city."

Nico chuckles at her comment, "Not all parties are like this. Just the bad ones."

Karolina seems genuinely relieved, "That's _very_ good to know."

"I was just about to head out. Want to split the ride?"

"Sounds good."

Karolina and Nico aren't so lucky, however, as they try three different apps and all of the cars are at least 20 minutes away. You would've thought that a city as busy as New York on halloween would have more cars on the street. She doesn't blame the drivers, however, she wouldn't want to drive people in the condition they're in either. They accept their fate that they'll just have to wait.

Until, it starts to rain.

They cancel the ride, paying the fee, and decide to wait it out somewhere else. They run into the nearest store front, which turns out to be a halal restaurant. They pick out a table and Nico tells Karolina she'll be right back as she walks to the counter to order something. A few moments later, Nico walks back to the table with a box in hand.

"Okay, you just moved to New York, and you haven't been truly living in New York if you haven't tried the chicken and rice dish with the white sauce at this place."

Nico places the box in front of both of them and opens it up. She grabs the two forks she has on her other hand and offers the second one to Karolina. Karolina hesitates to take it from her, however.

"Everything okay?" Nico asks.

Karolina's voice is weak as she mumbles, "I'm vegan."

Nico's regret is immediate as she's consumed by an all encompassing feeling that she is the most idiotic person in the world. Nico always did have a flare for the dramatics after all.

"I'm so sorry! I should've asked! I'll go change this, the falafels here are really good too, we'll do that instead!" Nico is already grabbing the box and rushing towards the counter before Karolina can even get a word in to tell her it's fine.

Again, not minutes later, Nico is back with falafels and some paprika spiced french fries. Nico's already rambling as she approaches the table and sits down, "I'm sorry again. At least the guy behind the counter got some free food." When she's finally sat, she broods about the idea of already having ruined a barely there friendship. Her thumbs twirling around themselves on the table. Her hands are really giving away her nervous energy tonight.

Karolina reaches out and places her hand over Nico's to stop her fidgeting. Nico's cheek immediately flush.

Karolina's voice is soft as she speaks, clearly trying to comfort her, "This is great. Thanks for bringing me here."

"Yeah, sure. No problem." Nico mumbles back. Much to Nico's disappointment, Karolina pulls her hand back and grabs a fork to start eating.

The easiness is back between them as the meal progresses. They are already chatting and laughing as Karolina finishes the last falafel, which leaves a bit of hummus on her chin. Nico reaches for her phone to snap a picture of the scene, already very fond of the girl.

"What are you doing?" Karolina asks.

"Just give me a second." Nico takes the picture and turns it to Karolina to see. On her instagram story is a picture of a confused looking Karolina with hummus on her chin. Karolina turns bright red as she furiously wipes at her chin.

Nico laughs lightly as she continues to edit the image on her phone. She pushes it towards Karolina once she's done - saving it first for good measure.

"Can I post it?"

On her instagram story is the previous picture of Karolina now with a black and white filter and a caption that reads: 'some dork got way too excited for her first time at halal'. Nico doesn't know, but Karolina's heart is currently threatening to soar out of her chest.

Nico mistakes her silence, "Come on, please. You look good."

"Sarcasm?" Karolina tries simultaneously trying to steady her heart.

"No, the truth. One day you'll get it. Don't worry. So, can I?" Nico doesn't fully understand why, but right now she really wants to post it and reveal to the world that she's hanging out with Karolina.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course," Karolina stutters.

"There." Nico switches apps to try and see if cars were closer now. Seeing a car one minute away, Nico calls it. "The car's almost here, let's go?"

She stands up and follows Karolina out of the restaurant. At this point, Nico trusts her enough to follow her anywhere. They get into the car and ride back to Manhattan together in a mixture of banter and comfortable silence. When Nico gets into bed that night, her mind is riddled with thoughts of Karolina. She stares at her Instagram story a couple more times before falling asleep with a smile on her face.

The next morning she wakes up with a direct message from Gert answering her story: 'No, that's cool. Hang out without me. I don't even care.' To which Nico answers: 'We will. I'm glad you don't mind.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karolina and Nico cook together for a friend's movie night after Gert bails on her roommate.

Nico is determined to make things right. Maybe she is being extra, but after the other night, she feels like she'd like to prove to Karolina that she can be attentive. So, here she is cooking an entire vegan feast for four. She usually hosts movie nights once a month with Gert and today was no different. Except, for the presence of her roommate who was not answering her phone. That leaves Nico to her own devices trying to find a way to do it all herself.

When she hears the smoke alarm go off and sees the vegan cake she's baking burnt to a crisp, Nico gives up on this whole one woman show. She throws the burnt cake in the trash and scraps the idea entirely. Then she calls for help.

"Hello?" Nico hears on the other side of the line.

"Karolina?"

"Yeah?"

"Hey, um, it's Nico. Hope it's okay, I got your number from Gert the other day-"

"That's completely fine. Don't worry about it. What's up?" Karolina rushes.

"Are you up to anything?"

"Not really, no."

"So… would you mind coming by early and helping me cook? It's just that Gert was supposed to help and she's not answering and you're supposed to come by later on anyway. So, I was just thinking, if you don't mind of course, would you?"

Nico waits anxiously for her response - seconds bleeding into an eternity in her mind. She needs the help. This will be a disaster if she does it alone. Mostly though, she just really wants to spend more time with Karolina, and this is the perfect excuse. She was coming over later anyway. No harm in coming over an hour or two earlier.

"I'd love to come over."

Nico's heart skips a beat, "Okay, cool. I'll text you the address."

"Okay, see you soon."

They hang up.

While Karolina is on her way over, Nico barely gets any work done. She's been preparing a pot of hummus for most of the time - taking twenty minutes to place store-bought hummus in a pot, add salt and pepper, add a drizzle of olive oil, and stir it. She is really losing her touch.

It isn't long, however, until she hears the doorbell ring. She counts to ten in her mind in order to not make herself look too desperate. She also doesn't want to look like she has just been pouring hummus for twenty minutes and actually was cooking. She walks to the door, exhaling before opening it - this was the first time they hung out as an actual invitation. All the other times, Nico is now realizing, were by accident, but this time she actually initiated this. And you know what? She's proud of herself. Good for her - taking action and shit.

On the other side of the door is Karolina, a wine bottle in hand and wearing sweatpants, with a smile plastered across her face. Nico thinks she looks adorable. Her hands start to sweat. 'Great, this is really going to help with the cooking fiasco'. Nico must be staring too long, because Karolina is the first to talk.

"May I come in?"

Nico does everything not to shake her head like some cartoon character as she comes out of her trance to answer the girl, "Yeah, of course! I invited you, didn't I?" She finishes her joke with a smirk.

She walks into the kitchen, Karolina behind her.

"So, what first, boss?" Karolina asks.

"You're on chopping duty for the vegetables."

"Sounds good." Karolina walks towards the chopping board which is littered with half cut carrots and celery sticks and gets to work.

"So, what are we making?" Karolina asks Nico who is currently tending to a saucepan.

"Well, I'm making the sauce for the veggie dogs, you're making the crudités for the hummus, I have a flat bread in the oven, and we still have to make the popcorn and guacamole."

"That's a lot, why did you give yourself so much work?"

"There was a cake too, but that's a whole other story. These are all simple enough things, though. And usually it's not that much, but my roommate won't answer her phone."

"Hey, I answered. Aren't I good enough?"

Nico sneaks a glance back at Karolina who's biting her lips in concentration as she cuts the vegetables, "You're better."

Nico hears a hard knock of the knife on the block as Karolina lets it slip after the comment, "You okay?" Nico asks.

"Yep, yep. Just slipped," Karolina hastily answers, "so, you like to cook?"

"I love to."

"Do you wanna be a chef?"

"I don't know. I like to cook, but I major in graphic design, so… I don't know."

"Well, I switched my major. It's okay to change your mind."

She takes Karolina's comment to heart, "Thanks."

After a brief silence, Nico starts up conversation again, "Here, try this. It's vegan. Tell me if I have the chops to make it as a chef."

Karolina steps towards her, abandoning the knife on the chopping board. Nico leans on the stove and raises the wooden spoon towards her, "It's hot."

Taking Nico's advice to heart, Karolina blows on the sauce a bit before tasting. Nico's eyes become transfixed with her lips and how close they are to her hand. Just when Nico thinks she's about to combust, Karolina sticks out her tongue and tastes the sauce. It's enough to make Nico lose any sense of equilibrium, slipping back further on the stove with her sweaty hand and--

FUCK.

Burning her finger.

Nico drops the wooden spoon to the ground, and brings her burnt finger to her lips to soothe it.

"Here, let me help," Karolina offers. She takes Nico's hand and places it under running water on the sink. She then turns back to the stove and turns it off.

"Keep that there. Do you have bandaids?"

"In the bathroom counter," Nico says through gritted teeth as the cold water pours into her finger.

Karolina's back a minute later with the bandaid in hand. She places it next to the sink and grabs the soap bar.

"Sorry about this," Karolina says with kind eyes and a remorseful tone.

She takes Nico's hand in hers and starts to disinfect the wound.

"Mother fu--" Nico stops herself before she swears not wanting to do it in front of Karolina. She really wishes she could enjoy the contact with Karolina right now, but she's just in pain. Karolina finishes with the soap and places it back next to the sink. She runs Nico's finger clean under the running water again and applies the bandaid around it.

"You okay?" Karolina asks softly, staring directly into her eyes.

"Yeah, um, thanks to you. My hero," Nico is able to stutter out.

Karolina chuckles softly, "I don't mind saving pretty girls." Nico can't help but notice she still hasn't let go of her hand.

Then, the timer goes off. It clearly startles Karolina who drops her hand.

"What was that?" She asks.

"The flatbread," Nico never hated a piece of food so much in her life, "Would you mind getting it?" She raises her finger to emphasize her point.

"Of course not," Karolina responds with a smile.

She places on the oven mitt, no need for a second burn tonight, while Nico watches her intently. Nico's currently trying to figure out the mystery that is Karolina Dean, medic extraordinaire, and why she feels her heart pounding in her throat every time she's near.

She places the flatbread on the counter. She turns to Nico with an eyebrow raised, "No cheese?"

"It's vegan," Nico shrugs.

Karolina looks around her before asking, "Is everything vegan?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well, I knew you were coming and I didn't want you to not have anything to eat," Nico confesses.

"You didn't have to do that for me."

"I wanted to." Nico, now timid, looks down and sees that the dropped wooden spoon left a stain on Karolina's shirt. "Oh God, I'm so sorry about that."

Karolina, who was previously looking at her with an unreadable expression, looks down. She promptly looks back up.

"Don't worry about that," Karolina's voice is husky, and Nico can feel her throat closing up.

Karolina walks towards Nico and places her hands on the counter on either side of Nico, essentially trapping her with her back to it. Nico can feel her close, very close, and she's currently afraid her heart might stop.

"I think you'd make a fantastic chef, by the way," Karolina whispers, "The sauce was delicious."

Nico looks up and can see the sincerity in Karolina's eyes. She feels her breath on her lips and--

The front door opens and Gert's already apologizing as she walks in, "I'm so sorry! I was at Chase's and I fell asleep. But I'm here now! What do you need me to do?"

Gert walks into the kitchen and sees Karolina and Nico on opposite ends refusing to look at each other.

"Karolina?" She asks.

"Hey, Gert. Nico needed help, so, I came over," Karolina greets. She goes back to chopping vegetables with her head down. Nico heads back to the sauce - turning the stove back on and furiously stirring it. Gert looks between the two confused.

"Okay..." Gert finishes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Karolina watch a movie together.

After Gert arrived, the awkwardness slowly dissolved in the atmosphere and soon they were back to casual banter. Karolina thought they were over the hump and could finally start to breathe easy once more until the only thing left to do was to mix the guacamole. That task fell to Nico, so, Gert made Karolina help her take the plates into the living room. She grabs the plate next to Nico and they share a shy smile before Karolina follows Gert into the living room.

"What was that?" Gert whispers scandalously.

"Why are we whispering?" Karolina whispers exaggeratedly back.

"Don't change the subject, what's going on between you two?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid, Karolina. I've known you your whole life. Are you into Nico?"

Karolina can feel the panic start to settle, "What? No!"

"Mhm," Gert looks at her skeptically, "If you protest any harder you might pop a vein."

Gert walks back into the kitchen.

Karolina is left stunned, her body filled with chills. She knows she has a bit of a crush on Nico, but she never expected to react this strongly to the mere suggestion of it. Oh no, her brain is short circuiting. How's she going to get through the movie now? What if Nico sits beside her? Can Nico tell? Of course Nico can tell! She was coming onto her minutes ago. But, does Nico feel the same? She did make her food, but then again she was making everyone food. Nico's just being a good friend. Or is she--

"Karolina!" Karolina's inner monologue is brought to a halt as Gert yells at her to go open the door as her and Nico are both busy.

An impatient Chase probably rings the bell fives times in the moments it takes Karolina to reach the door. When she opens the door, she finds Chase with a smug smile on his face and pajama bottoms with lacrosse sticks on them.

"Oh, it's you. I thought Nico would get the door." He seems disappointed.

"Nice to see you too," Karolina responds curtly.

"Not what I meant. I just enjoy annoying her. You're harder to annoy." He takes in Karolina's mood, "Though at the moment, you seem a bit on edge."

"Do not," Karolina answers too quickly.

"Mmm, okay, Karolina. Let's pretend I haven't known you forever."

"You're spending too much time with Gert."

Chase shrugs, "Anyway, talk to me if you need to."

And that was her friendship with Chase. He had fun teasing her, like he did everybody, but he could always read her mood. He realized that she needs to process whatever has her on edge and she'll talk to him when she's ready. She always talked to Chase first, it wouldn't really change now.

He walks into the house and straight into the kitchen. He grabs a chip and dips it into the guacamole above Nico's shoulder popping it in his mouth after.

"Can you not?" Nico says in an irritated tone.

Instead of responding, Chase just grabs another chip and goes to dip it in the guacamole again before Nico slaps his hand, "Don't."

"Oh, hi, Karolina." He says looking at Karolina at the entrance of the kitchen. She has been standing there the entire time during their interaction so she's just confused as to why he's saying hi to her. She understands, however, when Nico looks at her, and Chase takes the opportunity to dip the chip in the guacamole - crunching it loudly next to Nico's ear, making her jump.

"It's like having a child," Nico sighs.

Chase smiles at her quite pleased with himself and leaves the kitchen in favor of the living room, where Gert already is with the rest of the food.

Nico adds a little more lime juice to the guacamole before tasting it and seeming pleased. She gives it a final stir before Karolina speaks, "You know he wouldn't do it if you didn't react, right?"

Nico breathes out heavily, "The worst part of it all is that I do."

This makes Karolina chuckle. She takes the bowl from Nico and carries it into the living room.

There, Gert is sitting on one edge of the three person couch. Chase sits on the floor with his back leaning against Gert's legs. Leaving Karolina with no option other than sitting next to Nico - not that she's complaining.

They take their seats. Both Gert and Chase smirk at Karolina.

"Too much time together," She mumbles under her breath.

"What?" Nico asks her.

"Um, I asked what movie are we watching together?"

Gert snickers at her terrible save, "Interesting way to phrase that Karolina." With that Chase pinches her calve in a way that tells her to stop.

"Ow! Fine. We're watching E.T." Gert mumbles.

"What?!" Nico panics.

Karolina turns to her, shocked, "You don't like E.T.? Everyone likes E.T.!"

Nico's eyes seem to search Karolina's face for the right answer.

"It's her favorite movie. She's just scared she's going to cry in front of us and ruin her street cred," Chase chimes in.

"I really don't like you," Nico tells him.

He smiles at Nico.

Karolina looks at Nico who's now curling into herself shining a deep red. "I'll still find you tough if you cry. Don't worry."

"So, it's settled you'll still be tough if you cry, and we're watching E.T." Gert defines.

Nico leans down and grabs popcorn stuffing it into her mouth, now redder but for a completely different reason. She pours herself a glass of wine from the bottle on the table.

"I thought you didn't drink?" Karolina questions.

"I said I don't drink a lot. A glass is fine. I don't really go beyond that," Nico answers nonchalantly her mouth still half full with popcorn.

They settle in for the movie and Karolina can feel Nico slowly drifting closer to her until she's almost leaning on Karolina. Usually, she is a crier during movies, but right now Karolina can only concentrate on the heat coming off Nico's body very close to her own.

Nico on the other hand seems so engrossed in the movie, she probably doesn't notice she's practically leaning on Karolina. Karolina can't help but watch her. She seems so concentrated - her face reacting to every scene. Karolina adores this girl. Maybe this could become more than a simple crush. She can't think of anyone she'd rather be next to than Nico right now.

When they get to the scene where E.T. can't breathe, Karolina hears sniffling. At first she thinks it's Gert but the girl's not crying, then Chase who is openly sobbing, then she finally turns to Nico.

She has a single tear track running down her cheek and so much compassion in her eyes. Taking the opportunity to act, Karolina reaches over and interlaces her fingers with Nico's resting both their hands on her lap.

The action causes Nico to look up at Karolina - her eyes asking hundreds of questions. Karolina smiles shyly at her - answering every single one. Nico cuddles closer to her. Karolina's stomach flutters with every single butterfly coming alive that haven't since she had her first crush in middle school.

For the rest of the movie, any hope she had of paying any kind of attention vanishes as she can only focus on the feeling of Nico's fingers between hers. Karolina starts soothingly run her thumb against Nico's hand - the movement being the only thing that is currently grounding her.

After the movie is over, Gert and Chase retire to her room with knowing looks at both girls. Karolina is currently standing on one side of Nico's door trying to find any excuse she can to make this interaction last longer. Nico's hand reaches out and grabs hers.

"Thanks for coming tonight," Nico tells her looking at their intertwined hands.

"I had a great time," Karolina breathlessly utters.

"So, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah."

Nico leans in and kisses Karolina on the cheek.

After Nico's closed the door, Karolina's brain is so muddled she doesn't notice when the elevator arrives and leaves. She has to call it again and makes it in the second time.

In the car home, she gets a text:

Nico: Hey, if you're not doing anything next Saturday, wanna come over? I'll cook!

Karolina: Of course! You're up for cooking another feast for four?

Nico: Chase and Gert won't be here Saturday.

Karolina feels like she could throw up when she receives that text. She wonders if the car will stop on the FDR. Seems a bit dangerous. She composes herself, pushing down her nausea.

Karolina: Just us?

Nico: Just us.

Karolina: Can't wait.

So, with her heart pounding, she nervously counts the hours until next Saturday. She really hopes she doesn't end up smelling toast right now, because that would definitely mean she is having a heart attack and she doesn't think she's that far from one. Oh God, this girl was going to kill her if she keeps reacting like this to every small thing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Karolina have their first date and Karolina is determined to do anything to break the ice.

Karolina can't believe it's Saturday. Here she is, sitting in the subway, heading towards Nico's apartment where they are going to be alone. Her body is currently humming with excitement. Karolina hasn't had this big of a crush, let alone this much hope for a romantic relationship, in so long.

Walking from the subway to Nico's apartment, she experiences a mix of feelings towards her feet for not being able to get her there fast enough, but also for moving too fast as her nervous energy grows. She rings Nico's apartment number and rides the elevator up to the 4th floor. She shakes her arms on the way up convincing herself that it was getting rid of some of the pent up nerves. When the doors open, Karolina almost rides the elevator back down and runs away.

She walks to Nico's door and rings the doorbell. Before Karolina can start to fret, Nico's already opened the door and is barely able to look her in the eyes. Nico's cheeks are flushed and she greets Karolina with a quiet, "Hi."

"Hey," Karolina smiles shyly leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. After that, Nico can definitely not look her in the eyes.

Nico leads Karolina to the small dining table for four her and Gert have in the apartment. She already set up plates, cups, and silverware. Karolina's heart melts at the sight. She could tell Nico is trying when she pulls out her chair for her and excuses herself to go grab the food from the kitchen.

Throughout dinner, Nico is quiet, seemingly thinking about everything Karolina asks her for a while before answering. Karolina tries to find several ways to break the ice, but all of them seem to be coming up short. Racking her brain for answers, Karolina remembers another time Nico needed to relax and comes up with a plan.

"I wanted to ask your for a favor," Karolina starts.

Nico meets her determined eyes with questioning ones - the first time she's been able to directly look at her without breaking away.

Karolina is suddenly embarrassed when she thinks about what she's going to ask for, "See, um… the thing is… I've been wanting to you know try… like… smoking for a while now and you seem like you would help me if I freaked out."

Nico's shoulders seem to relax, "You wanna smoke?"

Karolina hasn't grown up curious about weed. When all her friends smoked in high school, she was too busy worrying about church and fitting into all these perfect little boxes to even go as far as to consider it. When she went to college, however, she had a bit of a rebellious streak as she came out and started drinking. Trying weed has been on her mind ever since. She has always scared of who to try it with, and it isn't something she is planning on making a habit out of, but Nico is trustworthy, so, this seems like as good of an opportunity as any.

Most of all though, they desperately needed something to relax them.

"I do."

Nico goes to her room and collects all of the paraphernalia necessary. Nico is now wearing a black hoodie and throws a red one towards Karolina, 'In case she gets cold.'

She hesitates a bit before grabbing Karolina's hand, and dragging her off her seat and out of the room. With their fingers interlaced and before Karolina can ask questions, they get in the elevator and Nico pushes the button for the rooftop.

The rooftop is mostly empty save for a few mismatched furniture pieces that seem to be forgotten more than placed there. They take their seat at a bench that looks like it was stolen from a park - complete with someone's plaque etched on it: 'for Johnnie, forever in our hearts."

Nico opens up the container with the weed in it. She puts it in the grinder and then on the small glass pipe - that she explains is called a bowl. When she's done, she turns to Karolina, "Gert won't scold me for corrupting you, right?"

"She might," Karolina answers back with a shrug.

"She's scolded me for worst, I guess." Nico grabs the bowl from the table to instruct Karolina on how to use it. "Okay, so, a couple of things you should know. One, you'll probably cough the first couple of times, so, that's why I brought this," she reaches into her hoodie pouch and takes out a bottle of water.

"You're too kind," Karolina tells her.

"I try my best," she says before continuing, "and, okay, two: some people don't really get high the first time they try weed."

"What?" Karolina asks in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's mostly due to not smoking correctly though, and I'll teach you so we won't let that happen to you."

Karolina nods still a little suspicious.

"Okay, scoot closer to me," and Karolina does. Both have their legs crossed in front of them and touching. "I'm going to do it and then you copy me, okay?" Karolina nods. Nico takes the bowl and lights it. She turns off the lighter once she's done inhaling. Through gritted teeth she says, "You have to hold the smoke in and try to get it inhale." When she does exhale, a tiny amount of smoke leaves her mouth. Karolina watches the smoke leave her mouth, fascinated. "You're supposed to keep it in so it goes to your lungs or brain or some shit. Don't quote me on that though. I'm not really sure, I just know it works."

"Your turn," Nico says as she pushes the pipe towards Karolina. She takes it from Nico's hand and places it against her lips, not being able to think of anything other than the fact that Nico had her lips there first.

"I'm going to light it for you, so it's easier, and I won't let you go beyond like three puffs. If this isn't the time you get high, we'll try again another time, okay?" Nico explains reassuringly.

Nico flicks the lighter on, and given their proximity and the flame, Karolina can see every inch of her face. She can't help, but notice how pretty Nico is and how soft her lips look.

"Inhale, Kar," Nico instructs softly. Karolina's heart doesn't miss the use of the nickname and skips a beat. She does as she's told and pulls as much smoke as she can from the pipe.

"Okay, keep your mouth closed and let it go down your throat." Karolina does and when the smoke hits it, she starts to cough instantly. Her throat feels like it's burnt as she continues to cough.

Nico reaches for the water and hands it to her. She removes the cap and drinks it desperately. Nico giggles a bit as she does. Karolina is amazed at how much she likes the sound.

"It's not funny," Karolina tells her, aware that it probably is a bit funny for someone else.

"It's a bit funny," Nico replies with a cheek to her voice, "Come on, we'll try again and you'll get the hang quick. You did good."

Karolina manages to take another two hits from the bowl before she's feeling the effects of it. Nico takes a couple more than her, but nothing outrageous. She places the bowl back down and looks at Karolina after her last hit.

"How are you feeling?" Nico asks.

"I don't know… I don't know how to explain like I can feel everything around me, kind of." And she does. It's like she can feel her skin, smell everything around her, and hear the smallest of noises. Her vision, however, is a bit blurrier.

"It's doing its job then," Nico tells her.

"I'm kind of cold," Karolina furthers. She can feel her arms littered with goosebumps.

Nico laughs, "That's why I got you the hoodie, dork."

Karolina feels the laughter bubble up in her chest and it just feels good to laugh. She puts on the hoodie and is instantly warm. She can smell Nico's perfume on it. All of it relaxes her - any paranoia she could have, gone.

She puts on the hood and draws the string so tight that Nico can only see her mouth peaking outside of it. Karolina, then, sticks out her tongue at Nico. This makes Nico laugh harder. Karolina opens up the hoodie again and looks at Nico with a face splitting smile. Nico's looking back at her with one just as wide.

"You're such a nerd," Nico teases.

"You like it," Karolina offers smugly.

"I do," Nico exhales lightly, "I really like you, Karolina."

Nico's eyes widen as if she's let it slip, and Karolina moves quickly to ease her tension, "I really like you too, Nico."

They stare at each other's eyes for a moment before Karolina draws the hood back on and closes it up again. She leans in blind and places a small kiss on the corner of Nico's lips - missing her goal but making her intention known. She moves back and removes the hood to see Nico's reaction.

Nico's looking at her conflicted, and a before giddy Karolina becomes conflicted too.

"What's wrong?" Karolina asks.

Nico exhales. Karolina's heart hurts and she's feeling the infamous paranoia associated with weed settling into her system. Karolina can feel the storm start to conjure inside of herself.

"Nothing's wrong, Kar. You're perfect."

"Then why do you look... "

"I'm sorry, it's just… I've made a lot of mistakes under some sort of influence," she can't look at Karolina, but quickly hurries to correct herself, "Nothing horrible! I've never like cheated or anything. Just kissed some people I didn't want to and said some things I shouldn't have. I promised myself that the next time I kissed someone I really like, I'd be sober, and I'm not, you know, really sober right now..."

Karolina reaches out and grabs both her hands, "I can wait."

"Yeah?"

"Of course," Karolina tells her.

"You're really great, you know?"

"I'd like to think so."

"Chase really played it cool when he said you were awesome," Nico looks at Karolina like she's the only person in the world. Karolina can't help but fall a little in love.

"He was also kind of wrong when he said you were moody, I think you're more like deep," Karolina jokes.

Nico pretends to be scandalized by the reveal with an exaggerated gasp, "He said that about me?"

Karolina laughs, the previous sunk in paranoia gone again, replaced by a feeling of ease. "Yeah, he also said you were sweet though, even though you pretend not to be."

"Do you agree?"

"I think you're sweet and kind."

"Okay, I need you to stop before I break my promise to myself."

Karolina smirks, "And awesome and pretty, like really pretty, and--"

"Okay, I get what you're doing."

"Hey, you can't blame me for trying."

The rest of the evening progresses naturally. Though they only met a couple of weeks ago, Karolina feels comfortable around Nico and vice versa. The nerves from earlier are completely forgotten and replaced by fondness.

Nico waits with Karolina at the door to her apartment building refusing to part before she has to. The driver Karolina called, because she thinks it's too late to take the subway alone, pulls up.

"That's me," she points out the obvious given that they're the only two people outside right now and no other cars are parked.

"I wish you could stay with me," Nico tells her as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Karolina leans in as if to hug her, so Nico wraps her arms around her waist. She, instead, grabs the bottom of Nico's neck and whispers close to her ear, "Keep saying things like that and I'll make you want to break that promise to yourself." She lightly bites her ear and places one soft kiss on her neck before adding, "Goodnight, Nico."

Nico shivers in her arms.

Karolina gives her one last look before walking and entering her ride home. She sits smug and proud of herself in the car as she hopes that that was enough to make Nico at least regret her promise at least a little bit.

And as Nico watches her car drive off, Karolina can believe that Nico regrets her promise - really, really regrets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's here, guys! sorry for the wait, a bit of personal stuff, but all good now.


	6. Chapter 6

Karolina hasn't seen Nico in two weeks. With her workload for midterms, she barely even saw her dorm-mates, and they live twenty steps away from her. Nico lives a little further.

Tonight, however, is Nico's birthday, and there is no chance in hell that Karolina is missing that. Currently Karolina doesn't care that she has her hardest midterm in the morning. She is already running an hour late which means she missed the surprise. The rain is pouring outside and Karolina is drenched from head to toe as she runs through it.

When the train broke down, Karolina didn't expect it, but maybe she should've, she is in New York after all. Maybe she isn't as house broken as she thought she is to the city. She is just a couple steps away from Nico's, the present in her hand soaked through. She shakes herself off before ringing the doorbell so someone can let her up the building.

Once at Nico's door, Karolina checks herself on her phone's front facing camera. And, 'Oh, God', this is not the first impression she wants to make after the last time Nico and her hung out. Moving her hair about trying to fix it, Karolina finally rings the doorbell to the noisy apartment. She hears footsteps and then Chase opens the door.

"Karolina!" Chase says, surprised.

Karolina suddenly feels self conscious, "Yeah? Was I not supposed to come?"

"No, no! Of course you were! I was just surprised since you weren't here for the surprise I didn't think you would make it."

"Oh, okay," Karolina says relieved. She makes to enter, but Chase is still standing in the doorway.

"Can I come in or not?" She asks.

"Yeah, it's just..." Chase looks down.

"What is it?" Karolina asks, her heartbeat speeding up.

"Well… um, so… Nico thought you weren't coming..."

"Okay, and?" Karolina encourages him to continue.

"She might've gotten a bit upset," he continues before correcting himself, "Not that she said anything! It was just a… vibe I got. And, like, she might be a little drunk, and I don't know how she'll react when she sees you."

"Oh," Karolina processes the information, "Should I be worried?"

"Not about her safety, no, but I thought I'd tell you that she might be a little mad."

"Mad? I was caught in the rain! The train broke down! I swear, Chase!"

Chase looks at her up and down, taking in her current state, "I believe you. Just fair warning, you might get lightly scolded."

"Scolded?"

"Not like anything major! It just mostly means Nico likes you, I swear. I get reprimanded all the time." The panicked expression on his face is evident.

"Okay, okay. I can do this. I brought a present. She'll forgive me," she says with an air of half confidence, "Right?"

"Oh, of course! She'll just give you a bit of a hard time at first."

Karolina exhales deeply, "I can deal with that."

She mentally prepares herself and follows after Chase into the party. Nico is animatedly talking to a group of people with her back to Karolina.

"Good luck," Chase tells her before joining Gert on the couch.

She taps Nico on the shoulder and the girl turns around. Karolina is prepared herself for the worst, but she doesn't prepare herself for what actually does happen next.

Nico's eyes light up when she sees her. She practically jumps on her and hugs her around her neck. Karolina turns her head sideways and is met with Chase's equally confused expression.

"I don't know," he mouths then shrugs, before going back to participating in Victor and Gert's conversation.

She turns her head back and Nico is looking at her with a wide smile plastered on her face.

"I'm so happy you're here," she says, her voice slightly slurred, "I didn't think you were coming."

"I know, I'm sorry!" Karolina pleads, "I was gonna make it on time, but then the train broke down and I had to run in the rain and--"

"It's okay, come with me," Nico interrupts her and takes her hand, dragging her into her room. Karolina grips onto the present in her arms tighter so it doesn't fall.

Karolina hasn't even greeted anyone at the party, but she forgives herself for her rudeness right now as she is going to see Nico's room for the first time. She is actually being dragged by Nico into her room. She really hopes Nico can't feel how sweaty her palms are becoming.

Once inside, Nico releases her hand and throws herself back on the bed.

"So, why'd you want me to come with you?" Karolina asks. She looks down at Nico who is sprawled out on the bed sheets - clearly enjoying the feel of them against her drunk body.

Karolina watches her and tries not to be completely entranced. Nico seems free, she thinks. She's laid down on the bed her dress inching slightly, but Karolina's eyes are drawn to the choker around her neck. 'Fuck' she thinks before she realizes that Nico is talking.

"Hm, sorry?" She says not being able to fully concentrate.

Nico raises herself from the bed. She takes the present from Karolina's hand and places it on the floor. She intertwines both their hands together, "I said, I just wanted to talk to you somewhere more private. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

That sobers Karolina's thoughts up a bit, "Yeah, I have barely seen my dorm-mates. Midterms have been crazy."

"It's okay," Nico says, "You're here now, and that's what matters."

She tugs both of Karolina's hands until she's sitting back down on the bed. She gives her hands a final tug encouraging her to sit too. Karolina does.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Karolina says, slightly awkward, too aware of her surroundings.

"Actually, I don't want to talk," Nico says.

"Oh, okay," Karolina responds, confused, "Then what--"

Karolina never gets to finish her question as Nico just leans in and kisses her. She immediately melts into her and kisses her back. It's everything Karolina has imagined and maybe more, Nico's lips are even softer than she would have thought.

Nico breaks the kiss and sits on Karolina's lap, her hands going underneath her shirt. Karolina can hear her unsteady heartbeat drumming in her ears.

"Happy birthday," Karolina tells her.

"Thanks," Nico says before going back to kissing her.

For a few moments Karolina is at peace, but then the sound of glass shattering makes them jump and separate from each other.

With the space and a cup broken, Karolina is able to think properly. Her mind returns to something she should've remembered before: 'I've made a lot of mistakes under some sort of influence'. Nico told her she didn't want to kiss her drunk and she is drunk right now, isn't she?

"Are you drunk right now?" The smile on Nico's lips die after Karolina's question. Karolina tucks a strand of Nico's messy hair behind her ear.

"A bit, why?"

Karolina hates herself for what she says next, but she knows it's the right thing to do. She doesn't want Nico to regret this. It needs to be done right, and right now isn't the time - unfortunately.

"I think it might be best if we did this another time," Karolina mutters.

"Why?" Nico asks, her confused expression almost making Karolina give up.

"You're drunk."

"Who cares?" Nico asks, now annoyed.

"You said you didn't want to kiss the next person you liked under the influence," Karolina pauses before continuing, "I don't want you to regret this, Nico." 

She wants to be the next person that Nico likes, and not just a one night hook up under the influence.

"I'm not going to regret this, Kar."

"I can't know that."

"You can. I'm telling you I won't. Just trust me."

Karolina hesitates, because she can't be sure. Nico told her herself, she said and did things she didn't mean when she's drunk. She wants her to mean this. She knows Nico won't react well to whatever happens next, but she'll fix it in the morning. It will destroy her if Nico regrets this.

"You don't trust me?" Nico's vulnerability shines through in her question.

"That's not it," Karolina shakes her head, unable to look her in the eyes.

Nico raises from her lap and stands in front of her, arms crossed. Karolina regrets everything she's said. Has she lost Nico? Should she just have let it happen?

"Then what is it, Karolina?"

"I don't want to lose you."

"And this is the way to do it?"

"I don't want you to regret this."

"I told you I won't, and you chose not to trust me."

Karolina reflects, still conflicted on the issue.

"I'm sorry," she settles on, but is still unable to look Nico in the eyes.

She watches Nico's feet shift, but she can't move.

"I think maybe it's best if you go."

Karolina is losing her.

"Nico--"

"No, Kar. We'll talk sometime. We won't get anything resolved tonight."

"I'm sorry, I--"

"It's okay. I just need sometime."

Karolina still can't move. She can't help but feel like it'll be over once she does.

"Please, Kar," Nico pleads.

"Okay, but promise you'll talk to me?" She finally looks in Nico's eyes as she asks.

Nico nods softly. Karolina stands up and walks out of the room - hesitating at the door. But she goes nonetheless, leaving Nico's present behind.

She walks through the party, stepping on some of the glass from the broken cup, but continues heading straight for the door. She's called the elevator. Soon she'll be outside and she'll have fresh air and she'll be able to breathe and think again.

Being on edge, Karolina jumps when she hears her name called behind her.

"Karolina," she hears Gert's voice. Then an immediate apology, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," she answers and silently prays for the elevator to arrive already.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," she tells her.

"Why? You just got here."

"I'm not feeling great, and I have an exam in the morning."

Gert looks at her, her eyes softening, "Stay a little longer."

"I really can't. I just stopped by," Karolina tries to sound convincing but her voice falters.

Gert steps closer, "Are you okay?"

The elevator doors open behind Karolina. She steps in. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it," she says before rapidly pressing the close button.

The doors close. The elevator moves down beeping at each floor. She bursts through the lobby and steps outside. The fresh air hits her face. She searches for release by taking a deep breath, but her lungs still feel empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> I'm so very sorry this took so long to update, just lacked a bit of creativity for this story. But I'm back on it and I'll be working on it from now on. I hope you enjoy the update, and the next chapter will be the same events but from Nico's perspective. And sorry for coming back to this story with a bit of a downer chapter, but I promise everything will work out.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me <3
> 
> Tumblr: downtothe-wire


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, but from Nico's perspective. It's Nico's birthday and she thought everyone forgot until she walks in to a surprise party. But the party is missing something, someone, actually, Karolina.

Nico had had a tough day. With school and the fact that all of her friends forgot her birthday, it hadn't been easy. Her parents called her, but she didn't even care for that much. The clinical call is a staple of her birthday, but her friends are the thing that make it actually special, but this year that didn't seem to matter, because they forgot.

But then Nico arrives home, wet from the rain pouring outside, and she is greeted with a chorus of: "Surprise!"

Nico jumps up in the air and is already in fight position when she notices she's surrounded by friends. Her friends, who remembered. Her body previously cold from shock starts to be flooded with warmth. A smile breaks out on Nico's face, and her eyes get moist, but she stops the tears as she doesn't want anyone to see them.

She promptly hugs all of her friends tightly then thanks them. When she gets to Alex, she tells him: "Thank you for coming."

He smiles at her sincerity, "You know I'll always be there, Nico."

The newfound ease between them is enough to assure her Nico that her feelings for Karolina are okay. She won't be hurting anyone this time around. She's got her shit together now. Maybe this will finally be the real deal.

When she reaches the last person, Gert, who always keeps back in social situations like this, she can't fail to notice that Karolina isn't there. Her smile turns to a frown, and something inside her turns sour.

"Everything okay?" Gert asks.

Nico shakes herself out of her funk, "Yeah, everything good. Thank you so much for organizing this."

"It was no problem. Chase did all the work, really. He likes you for some reason."

Nico smiles softly at the teasing.

"Are you sure you're okay, Nico?" Gert asks again.

"Yeah, yeah, I am," She pauses briefly before asking, "Did you invite Karolina?"

Understanding flashes in Gert's eyes, "Yeah, I did. I'm sure she's just late."

"That makes sense," Nico concludes out loud, she could just be late, "She has a bunch of exams this week, anyway. She probably just lost track of time. Right?"

"Yeah, definitely. She'll be showing up," Gert comforts her.

Nico nods assertively at her. Chase walks up and places his arm around Gert, "What are we talking about over here?"

"We're wondering where Karolina might be," Gert tells him.

He turns to Nico, a smirk on his face, "Sad your girlfriend's late?"

He means this in a light tone and Nico knows it, but it strikes her wrong, so in turn, she strikes Chase on the arm.

"Ow! What?" He asks, confused as to what he did to deserve the aggression.

Gert's gaze could be burning a hole through Chase, "They're not dating, idiot!" She then recoils at the harshness of her own words. 

Chase's eyes widen, "They're not? But I thought-- I… I--"

Nico watches him try to recuperate whatever he's just done, but she can't bothered at the moment. She needs a drink.

Nico just exits the conversation without saying goodbye to either of them and beelines straight for the drinks table. She pours herself a healthy dose of vodka and tops it with soda. It's only one drink, it'll be fine.

But as the hour trudges along and there is still no sign of Karolina, one drinks turns into two, and two into three. Nico isn't wasted by any means - it would take a lot more than that to get her wasted, but she is drunk. Just when she allows herself to believe that Karolina isn't coming and that that's okay, she is tapped on the shoulder. Nico stops her animated talk to a group of friends from school to turn around and be greeted by exactly the person she'd just stopped thinking about for the first time in an hour.

"Karolina!" She exclaims. She practically jumps on top of her, her inhibitions limited by the alcohol in her bloodstream. She can't be bothered to be annoyed right now. Karolina came. She hugs her tightly around the neck and she notices Karolina's resistance before she finally melts into her.

She pulls back to see Karolina exchanging a glance with Chase. She doesn't allow herself to dwell on that. Nico keeps smiling at her, happy with her presence.

When Karolina turns to look at her, Nico says, "I'm so happy you're here," she can hear the slurring in her own voice, "I didn't think you were coming."

Karolina visibly winces at that and then pleads, "I know, I'm sorry! I was gonna make it on time, but then the train broke down and I had to run in the rain and--"

Nico notices Karolina's soaked clothes and her apologetic demeanor, and she realizes that this is going to be a long winded apology, so, she puts a stop to it, "It's okay, come with me," she says, surprising even herself. She takes Karolina's hand and drags her into her room, her body committing to the action before her brain even has a chance to catch up to it.

Once inside her room, Nico's brain seems to catch up. She releases Karolina's hand and throws herself back on the bed - allowing the girl to leave if she wanted to. Karolina stays put and doesn't move, a good sign, Nico supposes.

"So, why'd you want me to come with you?" Karolina asks.

Nico stretches on the bed, the sheets feeling good against her body as she changed them earlier today.

"I just feel like I haven't seen you in forever," she says.

Karolina seems to be watching her on the bed. The self-conscious part of Nico comes to light and she realizes her dress is inching up her thighs.

"Hm, sorry?" Karolina asks her, distracted.

Nico counts that as a victory. She raises herself from the bed and notices Karolina fiercely gripping the package in her hands. She takes it from her and places it on the floor. Intertwining both their hands together, Nico continues, "I said, I just wanted to talk to you somewhere more private. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

Okay, so, she embellished a little bit what she said earlier, but who cares? Karolina certainly didn't seem to.

"Yeah, I have barely seen my dorm-mates. Midterms have been crazy."

"It's okay," Nico reassures her, "You're here now, and that's what matters."

She tugs both of Karolina's hands until she's sitting back down on the bed. She gives her hands a final tug encouraging her to sit too. Karolina does.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Karolina asks. Nico can sense she's nervous, and at this point she's over it.

She's over this entire waiting game of theirs. The fact that she can't just kiss Karolina whenever she wants to. And, Oh, God, how she wants to. It's bordering on needing at this point. She never planned for any of it to happen this way and she's aware she created the rules to this relationship herself, but she's over all of it right now. She just wants to kiss Karolina. She's sure Karolina won't mind.

"Actually I don't want to talk," Nico tells her, hoping she'll understand.

"Oh, okay. Then what--" Apparently she didn't understand. Nico decides to make her understand. She interrupts Karolina by leaning in and kissing her.

Kissing Karolina Dean is different than what Nico expected. The girl is sweet, but she definitely doesn't kiss like she is. Something about the whole experience is so entirely Karolina she can't find the proper words to explain it.

She breaks the kiss and positions herself on Karolina's lap. The taller girl's eyes widen at the bold move. Nico is smug for surprising the girl who's always surprising her.

"Happy birthday," Karolina says in a soft breathless whisper.

"Thanks," is all Nico can respond before she's magnetically pulled back to Karolina's lips.

They keep kissing until they're broken apart by the sound of glass shattering in the living room. 'Just a cup,' Nico thinks by the sound of the wreckage. She's ready to go back and kiss Karolina, when she stops her.

"Are you drunk right now?" Karolina asks. The smile on Nico's lips die as she looks at Karolina. What caused this doubt to be brought up now? Was she wasted and didn't even realize it? No, she didn't think she was. Someone who was wasted wouldn't even be able to think like this, right? She needed to be careful with her answer right now.

"A bit, why?"

There's a pause before Karolina continues, "I think it might be best if we did this another time," Karolina says. Nico is taken by surprise, a small pang in her heart, her stomach suddenly feels empty.

"Why?" Nico asks, unable to hide the hurt behind her voice. She can't help but feel rejected.

"You're drunk."

Nico hears Karolina's tone as accusatory. She can't believe that Karolina is stopping what might've been the greatest kiss of her life over a few drinks. In the morning she'll be aware of her own hypocrisy, but, right now, she's just annoyed.

"Who cares?" she spits out.

"You said you didn't want to kiss the next person you liked under the influence," Karolina pauses, "I don't want you to regret this, Nico."

Nico barely hears the second part of what Karolina says as she's angry that Karolina is using her words against her.

"I'm not going to regret this, Kar," she tries to assure her.

"I can't know that," Karolina answers, her tone defeated.

"You can. I'm telling you I won't. Just trust me," she makes her tone as firm as she can to let the girl know it's okay, but Karolina hesitates. Karolina's hesitation is enough to send Nico into a spiral. A spiral of past relationships, and the lack of communication and trust inside them. Maybe Karolina was right. Maybe she was wrong about this entire thing the whole time. Maybe she was drunk. Right now, however, she didn't possess enough self awareness to realize that she might be overreacting. That her brain might just be in panic mode. That her anxieties and insecurities are taking over her usually logical brain. That she's pushing away the only person who cared enough to stop her at a time like this.

"You don't trust me?" Nico asks, vulnerable.

"That's not it," Karolina says immediately, but Nico has a hard time believing her as she won't look her in the eyes.

She removes herself from Karolina's lap, her arms crossed in front of her for security. She can't believe that she could be this stupid. Karolina doesn't trust her, and why would she? Nico never did anything to deserve her trust.

"Then what is it, Karolina?" her tone shifts. Her guards are up, and her walls rebuild themselves as every insecurity inside her comes to light.

"I don't want to lose you," Karolina says, and Nico's unable to hear the sincerity as she's too wrapped up in her own thoughts. She's ready for a fight, and when she's like this she'll get one.

"And this is the way you do it?"

"I don't want you to regret this," Karolina tells her again. Maybe just to piss her off even further, her alcohol-addled brain concludes.

"I told you I won't, and you chose not to trust me," Nico spits, intending to hurt her.

"I'm sorry," Karolina says, still not looking at her. Why won't she look at her?

"I think maybe it's best if you go," Nico delivers the final blow - hoping for a fight.

"Nico--"

Nico doesn't let her get a word in, "No, Kar. We'll talk sometime. We won't get anything resolved tonight."

"I'm sorry, I--"

Nico needed to be alone, "Please, Kar," she tries.

"Okay, but promise you'll talk to me?" Karolina asks, finally meeting her eyes. Nico's head nods in agreeance before she even has a chance to process what Karolina is asking for.

Karolina leaves the room.

Nico never got the fight she wanted. She expected herself to feel triumphant after getting the last word as she has so many times in the past, but she just feels empty. She doesn't like fighting with Karolina. She doesn't like the sad look in her eyes. She doesn't like herself, most of all, for causing this whole thing in the first place. She lays down on the bed to cry.

'Great fucking birthday,' she thinks to herself.

She hears a soft knock on the door a couple of minutes later.

"Nico?" It's Gert, "Are you okay? Karolina just left."

"Yeah," she says even though her broken voice clearly indicates she's not - hearing Karolina's name spoken casually hurts her.

"Doesn't sound like it. Can you unlock the door?"

"I just want to be alone right now, Gert," she tells her.

"Come on, I just wanna talk. Open the door."

"Please, Gert. Tomorrow?"

She hears Gert sigh on the other end of the door, "Okay," she says and Nico hears her footsteps head back towards the party.

Nico covers her head with her pillow. She hurt Karolina. The one person she never wanted to hurt just because she wasn't smart enough to look past her own nonsense. Too selfish to look beyond the ego burn of her perceived rejection. She allowed herself to cry until she was numb enough to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the update. I wanted to add Nico's perspective, because I think that in a fight there is never black and white. Even though Nico is probably in the wrong here, she had her reasons to be driven by her own demons. I feel and they needed to come out eventually so they could both move past it, and Nico could finally realize that a fight doesn't mean that everything's ruined forever. Hope that makes as much sense on paper as it did in my head.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Tumblr: downtothe-wire


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Karolina wake up and have to deal with the consequences of the previous night.

When morning comes, Nico wakes up with a pit in her stomach. She thinks it's because of the guilt, but soon finds out it's not only that when she finds herself running to the bathroom to throw up. She barely reaches the toilet before the contents are spilling out. Halfway through it, she feels her hair being held back as she continues to throw up. Her head's nearly submerged inside of the porcelain.

When her stomach's empty she looks back to find Gert looking down at her, her eyes filled with pity.

"Thanks," she mumbles, genuinely grateful.

"How you feeling, champ?" Gert asks, a little sarcasm to her tone. At the last word, Nico turns to the toilet and throws up again. Apparently her stomach wasn't empty yet.

Once she's done, she answers Gert with a simple, "Not great."

She stands up and turns on the faucet. She rinses her mouth with the tap water trying to rid it of the foul taste. It doesn't seem to be working. For a brief second her eyes linger on the liquid soap, then she decides she'd better not.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," Nico answers as she brushes her teeth, ignoring Gert's stare through the mirror.

"How am I supposed to help if neither you nor Karolina will talk to me?" Gert asks, riddled with worry.

"You're not," Nico snaps, and immediately regrets it.

"Nico--" Gert starts, her voice softer.

"Later, Gert," Nico says before adding, "Please?"

She finally looks at her through the mirror and nods curtly at Nico. Nico sighs in relief before walking to her room and locking the door. She crawls under her covers and vows to never leave.

 

Karolina, on the other hand, wakes up as if nothing remarkable happened the night before. She's able to feel this way for an entire thirty seconds before the events of the previous night come rushing back to her and she feels the tears welling up in her eyes. She pushes them back promising herself not to shed anymore.

She needs to focus right now. It's Saturday and it's one of the only completely free days she has to study. She lifts herself from her bed, happy to not have a roommate right now to ask her what's wrong. She takes a seat at her desk and starts reading one of the many case studies she has to have memorized for Monday.

She sits for hours failing to pay attention when her phone rings. Happy to have the distraction, she rushes to pick up the call.

"Hello?"

She hears Gert's voice on the other end, "Morning, sunshine. How you feeling?"

"Good, you?" Karolina can hear the effort in her own tone as she lies to Gert.

"Really?" Gert asks skeptically, "The same can't be said for the people over here. Chase can barely move and has already ordered Shake Shack, and Nico was throwing up earlier on."

Karolina's body freezes at Nico's name. 

"That sucks," she tries, "Glad I didn't drink."

"Me too," Gert says, "Wanna meet up for lunch?"

Every fiber in her being screams at her not to go. Her heart pounds in her chest and her brain tells her that she needs to study, but one thing wins out. Maybe Gert will have talked to Nico. She feels lonely, she rationalizes, she could use the company.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

She can hear Gert getting excited on the other end of the line, "Good, I'll see you at 1 at Veselka."

Gert hangs up before Karolina has a chance to say anything else.

Until one, Karolina keeps checking her phone to see if she can leave. When the clock reads 12:31, she rushes out of her room to go meet Gert. She was going insane left alone in there.

Gert's already at a table by the window when she arrives and waves her in. Karolina greets the hostess and follows her to Gert's table. After they exchange pleasantries, Karolina asks, "How's Chase doing?"

"He's moaning on the couch while watching British Bake Off in the dark. He's like a wounded puppy. At one point, Nico came out to yell at him to go home and stop bothering her with his moaning."

Karolina immediately wants to ask: 'how's Nico doing?' but she doesn't. She only bites her lip and fakes a smile at Gert.

"Are you going to ask me?"

"Ask you what?" Karolina feigns innocence.

"Okay, Kar," Gert says, and Karolina wishes she would just answer the question without her having to ask.

Karolina looks down at her menu pretending to choose something to eat, but her mind is too busy to decipher the words. When they waiter comes by and asks them if they're ready to order, Gert promptly answer with a resounding, "Yes!"

Karolina panics and start to run through the menu trying to find the vegan options. Before she has the time to finish looking, however, Gert has already ordered her beef stroganoff.

"I'll have whatever is vegan," she says.

The waiter raises an eyebrow at her, "We have boiled potatoes and vegetables."

Karolina isn't very hungry, so, she agrees. He walks away with their orders and menus and they turn back to each other.

"Sorry," Gert says, embarrassed, "I thought some of the vegetarian options here were vegan."

"That's okay. I'm not very hungry," Karolina feels good about not pretending to Gert for once in this conversation.

"Are you sure?"

Karolina only nods solemnly.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Karolina nods again, unable to look Gert in the eyes.

"What happened, Kar?"

Karolina's eyes start to tear up, "That's the worst part, I don't know. Everything was fine one minute, and then suddenly, it wasn't."

"It's going to be okay," Gert comforts to no avail.

"I don't know. Everything was fine. But then I noticed Nico was drunk and I told her we should probably stop--"

"Wow, wow, wow! Stop what?" Gert insinuated.

"Nothing like that!" Karolina's panicked head shoots up, "We just kissed!"

Gert only answers by looking at her suspiciously.

"I swear!" Karolina says exasperatedly.

"Okay, okay. Continue," Gert concedes.

Karolina takes a deep breath in before continuing, "After I told her that, she told me I didn't trust her, and it all got blown out of proportions until she told me to leave. I don't know what happened, Gert. She told me she didn't want to do this drunk. I thought I was being respectful."

"You were, Kar."

"Doesn't feel like it," Karolina pouts. She quickly dries her eyes before anyone around them notices.

Gert reaches for her hand on the table, when the waiter brings their food. Gert pulls back to allow space for the food to be placed. Karolina doesn't look at him. The plate of boiled potatoes, broccoli, and carrots are doing nothing for her appetite either.

"Thank you," Gert tells him before he scurries away with a sympathetic look on his face.

Gert tries to relax her demeanor and reaches for Karolina's hand again. She lazily runs her thumb over her hand. "Kar, I adore Nico. I need you to know that."

Karolina waits expectantly for the 'but'.

"But," Gert continues, "She runs away and she pushes away when things become intimate. She's really trying not to. It's not you. She was way better with you than I've ever seen her be before. She'll try to runaway again, but… Look at me for a second."

Karolina obliges and looks Gert in the eyes.

"Don't let her," Gert finishes.

 

Back in the apartment, Nico decides to not be a hermit in her room in favor of being a hermit in the living room with Chase.

"What you watching?" she asks. Her hair is tied in a loose bun and her eyes are puffy from crying.

"You finally transformed into fully goth now that you look like death," Chase teases before turning back to watching British Bake Off, Nico now realizes. 

She walks towards the couch and takes a seat next to him resting her feet on the coffee table, "Thanks, Stein."

"You're welcome, Minoru. Want some fries?" He gestures towards the cold fries and dried up ketchup leftover from his meal. 

"As tempting as that seems," Nico starts sarcastically, "I'm not really hungry."

He pauses the show and turns to her, "So, what's got you down? I know it's not just the hangover." Nico just shrugs, opting to not talk about it. 

After a long pause, Chase breaks the silence, "Don't fuck it up, Nico."

The statement takes her by surprise for two reasons: one, the bluntness of it and two, the fact that Chase called her Nico.

"Why are you assuming I'm the one fucking up?" Nico asks defensively.

Chase just smirks at her, before turning back to the television and pressing play. They keep watching the show while Nico stews in her own guilt. She grabs the remote and presses pause after not even five minutes of it playing.

"Okay, fine. How do I not fuck it up?" she accepts.

"What did you do?"

Nico curls into herself in embarrassment replaying the events from the previous night in her head, "I was drunk."

"We both know that, but what happened?" He presses on.

"I was drunk, and we were kissing, and she told me to stop because I was drunk, and I got embarrassed or mad or something, and I told her she didn't trust me, and it all just went south from there, until I told her to leave," Nico says it all in a single breath. She recovers by breathing in and out shallowly after.

Chase is just staring at her incredulously, "Wow, dude, you're an idiot."

"What?"

"You're such an idiot."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, dude, but you are."

Nico accepts her fate, "I know... "

Chase goes to reach for the remote to press play again before Nico grabs it first and stops him, "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Grovel? Beg? Whatever it is, make it embarrassing."

Nico squirms before accepting her fate, "You're right."

"I know I am. I've done a lot of groveling in this lifetime," he replies with a smirk plastered across his face. He reaches for the cold fries and takes one popping it in his mouth. He cringes at the taste, but tries to hide it in order to keep a smooth facade.

"Okay, I'll get ready and go," Nico mumbles.

"Good on you, Minoru. Make me proud. Go get your girl!" He chants after her.

"If you continue saying shit like that I won't!" Nico answers back at him.

Chase laughs to himself before pressing play on the show again.

Nico walks into her room, and notices that the room is in complete disarray. She sighs and picks up a couple of things off the floor throwing them on her bed. There, resting alone, she notices a small package. She leans down and picks it up.

She removes the floral wrapping paper around it. Inside she finds a note and a small ET doll. 'Karolina' she thinks. She realizes she messed this up more than she thought as she starts to tear up looking at the thoughtful gift.

She turns the envelope over and opens it. She pulls out a small card from inside. There scrawled across it is a neat handwriting that seems very fitting for the blonde. Her heart beats faster as she commands her eyes to focus in order to read it.

It reads: 'I think you're out of this world,' Nico smiles at the corny joke that if it was written by anyone else would've made her cringe, 'Happy birthday, Nico. I'll wait as long as you need me to. You're worth it.'

Nico visibly flinches at the last couple of words. The immensity of what she might have lost hits her all at once. She realizes she's sobbing when she feels a black tear hit her lips from her smudged makeup. She wipes it and looks down at the trace it left on her own hand. She makes a decision. She wasn't just going to beg or grovel, she'd do anything necessary at this point.

With a new sense of determination, she grabs her bag and stuffs the letter inside, not bothering to switch out of her sweats or fix her makeup. She beelines for the door.

"I'm going to fix this!" she exclaims as she walks past Chase who is still watching the program.

He throws up his fist in the air mimicking the ending of the Breakfast Club, "Go get your girl!"

"I fucking will!" Nico screams before slamming the door to the apartment on her way out.

She must press the down button on the elevator twelve times before it finally arrives. When the door opens, however, Gert's on the other side. She looks pissed at first, but then at seeing Nico's state her eyes widen.

"Why the fuck do you look like that?" she asks standing in front of the elevator doors so they don't close.

"I'm going out," Nico tells her trying to move past her into the elevator, but ultimately is unsuccessful.

Gert fixes her with an angry glare.

"I need to talk to you first," Nico is becoming impatient with this whole thing, "You broke that poor girl's heart. I just spent hours with her trying to make sense of things and cover your ass. I know you're not one to apologize. But you will apologize to Karolina even if I have to make you!"

Nico scratches her own face in frustration, "That's what I'm about to fucking do! Can you please let me go?"

"Oh," Gert reacts in surprise, "Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

Gert moves out of the way of the elevator door and Nico steps in. The doors close and she's on her way down. She hears a faint, "Good luck," from Gert.

In the elevator, with the beeping sounds of every floor, doubt starts to creep into Nico's skin. 'What if Karolina doesn't want her back?' Her thoughts are interrupted by the elevator door opening. Nico shakes the insecurities rising, and the determination settles back in. 

She was going to get Karolina back if her life depended on it. 

A bit dramatic, she thinks for a second, but settles on ignoring that thought.

She steps into the night and focuses her thoughts on one specific person: Karolina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter of this story. I know I fumbled a bit through it with irregular updates, but I hope it turns out to be something that you can still enjoy. This chapter is the set up for the conclusion coming next. This story means a lot to me personally as I put a lot of myself into it (maybe too much? haha), so, I really hope this is something you can enjoy too!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I love every single person who does <3!
> 
> PS: I don't really know if they have other vegan options at Veselka, when I go I get the beef stroganoff, haha. But, anyway, they have a lot of milk in their food there, so I made assumptions.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico rushes to Karolina's dorm in a desperate attempt to win her back. Will the long night finally end?

Nico trudged her way through a cold harsh New York night to reach Karolina. On the way there all she could think about was how she was going to apologize. Ignoring the honking cars as she crossed the streets at the wrong times and the faint screams of: 'Watch where you're going!' beneath the ringing in her ears. She made it through all of that, but now that she's standing here, she is at a loss for words.

Nico stands in front of Karolina's door. Her hand frozen midair. She can't seem to make it move. Her brain is screaming: 'KNOCK!' but her muscles don't seem to be working. Where did her courage go?

But then, the door opens and a girl she doesn't know is on the other end, startled to see her. Does she have the wrong room? She's pretty sure this is the one Chase said was hers. Karolina walks up behind the girl. Nico's heart promptly drops into her stomach. Was she already too late? Karolina's eyes widen at the sight of her.

"Nico?" she asks, slightly breathless, the sadness behind the other girl's name obvious.

"You must be Nico," the girl states, a smirk on her lips that infuriates Nico.

"I am," she answers curtly, "And you are?" Her answer leaves her mouth a lot more bitter than she intended.

"Julie," the girl says before moving out of Karolina's room and towards the one across the hall. "Told you she'd come. Goodnight, K," she calls out before entering her own room across the hall. Oh, Nico realizes shamefully, she definitely overreacted there. She decides to focus her gaze back at Karolina whose cheeks are flushed pink.

"I need to talk to you," Nico says before she loses her courage again.

Karolina nods before allowing her into the room and closing the door behind them. At this point, Karolina is sure that Nico's here to tell her nothing will ever going to happen between them, that it's too much, too overwhelming - further breaking her already shattered heart.

Nico catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and cringes. Her hair is in a messy bun, she's in sweatpants, but worst of all her makeup is completely smudged. Black streaks scar her cheeks from last night and this morning's crying.

"I--" They both start at the same time breaking an awkward moment. They stop at the same time too before Nico continues, "Can I talk and then you talk?"

Karolina nods. She still hasn't said a word since first speaking Nico's name, and even then it was barely audible. Nico could feel the nervousness bubbling up.

"Okay, the thing is… I like you, Kar," she starts, direct to the point, "and I'm sorry..."

She takes a shaky breath before proceeding, "I don't know what happened, I just felt rejected, and I just, I reacted without thinking, and I'm so sorry, Karolina. I really am."

Karolina still doesn't look at her. Her eyes are trained on her feet, and she seems to be fidgeting a lot more than usual. Nico can tell she's holding back.

"Say whatever you want," Nico says softly.

Karolina exhales, "I'm sorry, Nico. I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want one."

That takes Nico by surprise. Karolina seems calm and level-headed as she says it. She's still not looking Nico in the eyes, but she's not screaming and she's not being cruel… she's being… Nico can't pinpoint it… What Nico realizes at another time, is that was she could not pinpoint was maturity.

She decides to persist, "I do want you, Kar. In anyway you want me." She walks towards Karolina and kneels in front of her on the bed taking both her hands in hers.

"Tell me what I can do to fix this."

Karolina's hands just rest limply in Nico's, she makes no move to take hers back. Fear icily creeps up Nico's spine. Her eyes start to burn. Her hands slowly loosen the grip on Karolina's and she just falls back to sit on the floor in defeat.

Nico only realizes she is crying when she feels a tear hanging from her chin. She starts sniffling, trying to manage her break down in front of Karolina.

Karolina kneels down and tries to guide Nico's chin up so she can look at her, "Hey..."

Nico resists, however, not letting Karolina look at her in her moment of vulnerability. Karolina stands, leaving Nico to wonder where she is going. She doesn't wonder too long, because soon she can see Karolina's legs crouching down in front of her. She tries to guide Nico's face up again, but Nico resists.

"If this is going to work out, Nico, I'm going to need you to let me in," Karolina says, and it's the little glimmer of hope Nico needs to let herself be vulnerable for once.

She slowly lifts her face and thinks of what a mess she must look like right now. In Karolina's other hand is a makeup remover wipe. She reaches out to slowly wipe the smudged makeup off of Nico's face. She rubs gently at her cheeks. Nico's eyes follow hers as they make their way to every tinted spot on her skin.

"There," Karolina whispers as she finishes her handy-work. Her hands don't move away from Nico's chin and she fixates on Nico's lips. It's harder to stay away from them now that she knows how soft they are.

Her gaze flickers to meet Nico's. She finds her eyes swimming in doubt and she can't stand it. She rests her forehead against hers. She can feel Nico's breath against her lips. It makes her head twitch forward coming closer and closer to each other. Nico bridges the rest of the distance and kisses Karolina.

The kiss is unsure. Nico's afraid whatever spellbinding moment they are under will break if she moves too fast. She pulls away after one soft kiss keeping her eyes closed, terrified to open them and face rejection.

She is surprised, therefore, when she feels Karolina's lips back on hers. Karolina kisses her just as tentatively. Their lips meet repeatedly, but none of them make a move to take it further. Nico brings her hand to Karolina's cheeks and feels them wet underneath her palm. She pulls away to see Karolina crying. Her eyelids screwed shut like she's in pain.

"Kar?" Nico asks softly. She starts to clean Karolina's tears from her cheek, "Talk to me, please."

"I'm scared," Karolina says so small Nico's afraid she misheard her.

"Don't be," Nico is able to utter, scared to trust her own voice to say more without breaking.

"How can I not?"

"Could you look at me?" Nico asks.

Karolina's eyes flutter open and her blue irises are surrounded by an unusual violent red. Nico's heart clenches. Can she really do this? Can she not hurt Karolina? She couldn't stand if she saw her cry again.

"I can't promise you I won't hurt you," Nico starts, the sadness becomes palpable in Karolina's expression, "But I can promise you I'll try. I'll try harder than I ever did before. I'll try really hard, because you're worth it. You're worth every last damn bit of myself, and I'm not going to give up easy. I can promise you that. I can promise you my best and I can promise you my devotion. Is that enough?"

Karolina seems shocked. Her eyes wide. Her mouth slightly agape. Her hands shaking where they're placed on Nico's thighs. She nods.

"But I need you to promise me one thing," Nico continues.

"What's that?" Karolina asks, breaking herself out of her stupor.

"I need you to be patient with me, Kar, because I'll probably make mistakes, but know that they're never with ill intentions," her voice breaks as she speaks the next part, "Ca-can you do that for me?"

"Of course I can, but, Nico, no relationship is ever going to work if you're don't learn to love yourself first," Karolina presses.

Nico sighs sadly, "I know that, I'm working on myself. I'm a lot better, and you make me want to be the best person I can be. I'm not going to runaway again."

Karolina doesn't say anything only runs her thumb on Nico's thigh, contemplating everything.

"I want you to be able to trust me," Nico elaborates.

Karolina's thumbs halt, "I trust you."

"Then are we okay?"

"We're okay."

She draws Nico closer to her and they resume kissing. The soft kisses intensify and turn into something different. Nico's more sure of herself and Karolina's more comfortable. Soft lips touching turn into tongues, teeth, and hands everywhere.

Not long after, they find themselves in a similar position from the night before. Nico's sitting on Karolina's lap on the bed. The familiarity pulls her away to check if everything is okay.

"Can we finish what we started last night?" Nico asks, unsure.

"I don't want to push you into anything."

"You're not."

To prove her point to a still skeptical Karolina, Nico leans down and starts to press kisses to her neck. She lets her hands wander under Karolina's shirt and starts to run them along the sides of her torso.

"Fuck," Karolina mutters under her breath. Nico lets her nails lightly scratch their way up making her shiver. "Wait, wait! Stop doing that, I can't think straight," she says panicked.

Nico pulls her lips and hands away from Karolina.

"Are you sure?" Karolina asks, peering into her eyes, searching for any kind of doubt, in need of a final confirmation.

Nico steels herself and answers, "I'm sure."

"Oh, thank God!" Karolina exclaims in relief. She grabs Nico and flips them over so she's on top of her.

"Fuck that was hot," Nico breathes.

She only takes a second to be smug before mauling at Nico's neck causing her to moan loudly.

"Shh, I have suitemates," Karolina says with a hint of mischief to her voice.

"Don't be smug," Nico replies faking her annoyance. Karolina's quick to move on teasing and heading straight back to where she was before.

The kisses to Nico's neck turn into more as Karolina dives lower towards her collarbone and then tugs at her shirt. Nico's more than happy to comply and removes it. She then reaches for Karolina's and pulls it off - trying to even the playing field even though she can't properly function at the moment.

Karolina works her way down from Nico's neck to her collarbone and soon they've entered uncharted territories. Karolina is dripping herself like honey all over Nico's breasts, her stomach, her navel, and her center. Karolina teases Nico until Nico threatens her. Finally she complies and brings Nico over the edge. After moments of laborious breathing, Nico is more than happy to do the same. They love each other tenderly into the night. Still unsure of what their relationship will bring, but hopeful of what it could.

When day breaks, Nico wakes up with Karolina in her arms. Her blonde waves angelically spread over Nico's chest and the bed sheets. She can hear Karolina's light snoring and makes a note to to tease her about that at a later date. It's hard for her to remind herself sometimes that Karolina's human.

Nico runs her fingers softly through Karolina's hair. Her fingernails scratching gently at Karolina's scalp. Karolina's eyes lazily open and she looks up at Nico. This is the first time they see each other in the sunlight. After countless nights that lead them to the daylight simmering through the venetian blinds. Karolina thinks Nico's lips shine in the light, Nico thinks Karolina's eyes sparkle. In silence they make a promise of many mornings to come, sealing it with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! I finally finished it!!! Who would've thunk!!! Anyway, I hope for anyone who might have had any kind of expectation for the finale that this is satisfying. I really wanted to make sure that Nico's insecurities weren't cure but that she was now willing to work on them. Plus, um, I got a bit carried away with how intimate they got in the end so I'm switching the rating to T, lol. I hope that this was something that you enjoyed. If you stuck through me with this series and all its sporadic updates, I want to say thank you so much! Every comment and encouraging word I got on it was what made me keep writing. Thank you for being kind to me through it all. I hope this is an ending you can get behind and that you enjoy it. And I also just hope you have a great day. <3!


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